Just Alone in the Middle of a Crowd

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my family. We had a mini family reunion at a place called Bay Beach. They have a few rides-bumper cars-ferris wheel. It 25 cents a ticket and one or two tickets gets you a ride. Americana at its finest. All three of my kids were present. My two step brothers…step sister and my half sister. All had spouse/family in tow. My father and step mother were also there-being that they have relocated to Florida, their visit promted the reunion. My family is one of those NON confrontational type. No one REALLY wants to know how you are. God forbid if you actually said something or shared any real part of your life. I am the only one not married/divorced. Black sheep…whatever you want to call it. Unfortunetly they LOVED my ex husband and some have even choosen to believe HIS side of things and BLAME me.
With my bum knee, I was a bit slower in getting around the park but we managed. My oldest helped with taking litle ones on rides I couldnt do. I took pictures and just tried to enjoy the beautiful day and the take in the joy my kids were experiencing.
As I watched my children, I also watched the crowds and the couples and the other kids. I think I was the only single woman there. The thirty minute drive home was quiet.. The little ones fell asleep and I watched the world go by as my oldest drove. I’ve never felt so alone. I kissed and hugged the kids goodbye when I dropped them back off at their dad’s house and their sleepy little faces never looked so cute.
My oldest took off with some friends and I went to bed. This is my life.
Just Dawn