It’s that time of year again. Time to reflect. Time to make resolutions and such.
Last night I took a drive all by myself and did just that. I pondered spending my night by going to the local tavern and getting drunk but opted for the drive and time spent doing the goal setting thing that seems ever so “now”.
I want desperately to feel some CONTROL over my future as well as the future of my children. I have to say that 2005 wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t spectacular either.
Let’s do a SCOOBY-DOO flash back..shall we?
dodododododododododododooooddooo
Tons of teenagers hung out at my house for the first part of the year. My eldest had a regular weekend ritual of gathering them all here and hanging out. Oh the joy…but I do have to say that I would have rather had them here than on the streets. I met some great kids..and some not so great ones.
Eldest graduated from high school..whoot whoot!!
Eldest turned 18…not so great for the pocket book. No more child support and the tax credit will disappear.
Eldest got a fulltime job..another whoot here.
Middle child lost bunches of baby teeth to the point of now needing a retainer to keep the space open.
Middle child also started 2nd grade..perfect student and super smart. Teacher LOVES this kid.
Middle child also played coach-pitch baseball and a season of flag football.
Youngest has proven to be natural swimmer. This is her “thing” -forget ballet and tap…she loves the pool. Can you say OLYMPIC MEDALIST?
Youngest started 1st grade. Also an excellent student that is coming out of her shy shell. Teacher adores this one as well.
Me?
lets see….
gained probably like ten pounds….ugh..not good.
Still struggling not just paycheck to paycheck but unfortunately living from paycheck to a week before the next one arrives.
There was that NEW CAR this year…YEAH ME!! Still loving the car even though the new car smell is gone.
Job is going ok. I did get a raise in July…
Man situation? If you read this at all you know that this year I have had a few “dates” but they all seem to just disappear into the night and are never heard from again. (no they are NOT in my basement)
I have improved my crocheting skills and of course I am still fixing computers for my friends and family on a regular “hobby” basis.
I have also evolved a few newer friendships. Two very special women in my life are even better friends after this year and we are continuing to get to know one another.
That’s about it for 2005..
Tune in tomorrow for the goals and resolutions for the all new 2006!
Happy New Year Internet!! Thanks for stopping by… see ya all next year?
Just Dawn

It’s OVER..The fat lady has sung!!!!!!!!
Phew..The holiday is over. We visited, exchanged presents, ate like pigs, unwrapped presents, played with new gifts, put batteries in new gadgets, reorganized new gifts under the tree,wore new sweaters and had a great Christmas. I hope that you all had a good one as well.
All that stress….OVER. All that FUN….OVER.
I am relieved and just starting to de-stress.

Of course today also means that my birthday is over too. (yesterday the 26th)
THAT was fun. Almost ALL my favorite people were there. We gathered at a local bar and celebrated the big 38. I had a blast!!! Got some really cute and awesome gifts from special friends as well. (even made a new friend…more on HIM later)

Off to watch one last movie with the kids…and maybe just one more piece of chocolate.

They are at it again!!
AND they invited me BACK.
I am honored to be amoung such amazing women.
Click on over to WWW.MOMMYBLOGGERS.COM and enjoy the
Q&A Holiday Smackdown…..warning……
Be prepared for some true holiday good reading.

Nough said…

I have spent the entire weekend in my pajamas!!
YAY ME…
I did manage to get two scarves made and a no sew blanket done for Christmas gifts but not much else. Oh yeah- all my laundry is caught up too.
It is SO cold here this weekend. I knew we wouldn’t be going anywhere, so WHY get dressed? I did shower and change into new jammies at one point. NO make-up. No hair-do. A simple clip to hold my hair up and I was good to go.
I figure with the week ahead this would be a good thing. A bit of down time for both me and the kids. We watched Christmas specials and even had a special MOVIE NIGHT in Mom’s bed last night. We did a pay per view and all spent the night kicking the crap out of each other. I got up twice and thought about hitting the couch but knew the kids would be upset if I had left the nest prior to them bringing me cold cereal in bed the next morning.
I topped off our weekend of pre holiday rest with egg-nog milkshakes and an early bed time. Tomorrow its back to work and school. Let the parties and all the happy ho ho shit commence. I am as ready as I am ever going to be.
I suppose I will have to get dressed for that.

Ever since the kids and I got the Christmas tree up and the house decorated, I have been trying to find that “gear” to get me going in the holiday spirit.
Gears are still grinding but no one would know it but me.
I have shopped with patience. I have been courteous and kind to all the crabbie sales people and cashiers. I have wrapped and mailed presents out that needed to be mailed. There is even Christmas music playing on my car radio and I have SUNG ALONG!
To the entire world I look like a happy stable woman who is ready for the holidays.
Well Internet…I am FAKING it.
It IS a woman choice now isn’t it?????
Inside I am screaming in agony. I am not looking forward to the holidays at all.
Sharp needles in my eyes may feel better.
Money is tight. Gifts are sparse. Spirit is low. The weather is cold and crappy.
I feel defeated by the jolly old fat elf.
I want desperately to BELIEVE.
I want to believe that everything will turn out fine and good and wonderful.
I want to believe that some magic will happen and something POSITIVE will end up in my stocking this year.
For now, I will just keep faking it.

Friday morning I awoke to a stuffed up nose and generally feeling like crap. I made it through the day at work and retreated home to continue blowing my nose about a bazillion MORE time through the next 30 or so hours.
Kids are here for the weekend and I had promised them we would decorate for Christmas on Saturday…
This reminded me that as a mom you are NOT ALLOWED to be sick. What I wanted to do was stay in my jammies, rest and get rid of this head-now chest cold and be back on my game as soon as possible. What have I done instead?
The entire house is decorated for Christmas. The tree is up and some presents are already wrapped and underneath it. I shopped on line. I have done 5 loads of laundry. Cooked 5 meals, as well as the cleanup, and the kids even talked me into making some cookies.
I still feel awful and now I need to take a shower and get dressed so I can go to the store to buy some more Kleenex and some medicine so I can sleep tonight.
Anybody got any Chicken soup?

Found this on Miss Zoot’s site….
Thought it might be fun and give you lurkers a chance to identify yourself.
Please MAP YOURSELF