Just OLD-but still funny and SO TRUE

It is great to be a MAN because:

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Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
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Your orgasms are real … always.
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Your last name stays put.
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The garage is all yours.
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Wedding plans take care of themselves.
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You never feel compelled to stop a friend getting laid.
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Car mechanics tell you the truth.
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You don’t give a rat’s ass whether or not someone notices your new haircut.
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Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
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Wrinkles add character.
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A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
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People never glance over your chest when you are talking to them.
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The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
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New shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle your feet.
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Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
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Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with “So, notice anything different?”
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One mood, ALL the damn time.
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A five day holiday requires only one suitcase.
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You can open all your own jars.
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Dry cleaners and hairdressers don’t rob you blind.
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You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
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You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
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You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
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If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
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If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
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Everything on your face stays its original color.
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You can enjoy a quiet car ride with a passenger.
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Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
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You can sit in silence watching a football match with your mate for hours, without thinking “He must be mad at me”.
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You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring little gift.
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If another guy shows up at a party wearing the same outfit you might become lifelong friends.
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You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
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You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
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You are unable to see wrinkles on your clothes.
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The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
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You don’t have to shave below your neck.
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Your belly usually hides your big hips.
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One wallet and one pair shoes, one color, all seasons.
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You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
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You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
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Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
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Same job more pay. The world is your urinal