This is a picture of how I feel right now. Cold, lonely, not needed or loved. Reflective and sad.
I hate when I feel like this-I know I have my children. I know they love me and need me.

The holidays are right around the corner and I really don’t know how I am going to pull this off this year.

Money is super tight. Bills are being paid late-if at all… No extra for Christmas.

My 40th birthday is also looming right around the corner.

Spending yet ANOTHER Christmas and birthday alone…

So here I am…wishing things were different. Hoping that someday I will not longer feel like this dock.

Brian,

First off…my apologies for posting this so late. You turned double digits on Friday Oct 12th 2007.
You reminded me for weeks of just how many days it was until that day.

I think everyone knew you liked football-and you got 4 of them for gifts!

You are now officially 10-going on 40.

You have grown SO much this year-both physically and emotionally.
You still love to pick on your sister but you also are very protective of her.

I have caught you hugging her and even telling her that you love her.

You continue to amaze me with your level of responsibility. I wish sometimes you would let yourself just be a kid and stop trying to be so darn grown up. You have worked hard all summer on cutting lawns and earning money. You are definitely like your dad when it comes to money.

You had a great season with baseball and your skill level grew tremendously.
You were told by your coach that you were going to be a major leader next year and how proud he was of you.
You played FALL BALL as well and enjoyed getting to know some new players.

You are an amazing young man. I am proud to call you my son.

And kiddo….don’t worry…. I won’t tell anyone about still needing that night light.

I love you!

Mom