The snow WONT S T O P….someone please turn OFF the snow!

2008 was going to be MY YEAR! It was going to consist of a new beginning, weight loss, stopping smoking, fresh starts and so many other ideas that had been swirling in my head. This was the plan. The plan has failed. I have failed. I hate this.

SO far this year has consisted of one crappy thing happening after another. I had to say good-bye to my dad. I havent lost a single pound and I am still smoking. I have made a huge mistake that will cost me my pride and money. I have spent more time crying and beating myself up than should be legally allowed. I try and try to turn things around and I keep stumbling farther ahead to only find myself so mush farther behind than where I started.

I have literal bruises and I am broken. Bruised from snow blowing during one of the snowiest winters on record in Wisconsin. Oh, how I hate winter! I am broken by the constant nagging inside my head of all my flaws and scars.

I am a never say never kind of woman but one particular NEVER bridge has been burnt to a crisp. Never to be mended.

I wanted 2008 to be less negative -more filling. More fulfilling. To discover my true passion and future.

The clouds are dark and gloomy.

Its snowing again.